(*Article contains mature themes.*)
Have you ever looked at a food or read its name and instinctively turned into a tomato? (Or better still, maybe you and your freaky self were actually turned on by it!) Well, you don’t have to be depraved or even gay to enjoy these three provocative foods, but you’ll have more fun with them if you are.
While this dessert has a wonderfully raunchy name, it is sadly tame in appearance. It hails from Britain (go figure), and does unnatural things with currants or raisins. It is typically categorized as a pudding, but looks more like an odd-shaped muffin, to be honest. Here’s just one recipe: https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/spotted-dick-103210
The best way to pervert this dish is to shape it, but I won’t be graphic in my description of the ways you can do that. If you’re not handy in the kitchen, just go to a naughty bakery! However, you should always be a good (or slutty) host and serve this dish with vanilla custard, as is tradition…
HIDE THE SAUSAGE
Another British treat, this spongy, sausage infested con-cock-tion is little more than cheap meat in dough. To the bane of the straight community, it is still a popular dish to serve to a large dinner party because it is not difficult to make. (Note: It’s also called “Toad in the Hole” because heterosexuals are often uptight about where they hide their sausages.)
In my opinion, this dish looks less sexual and more like something the cast of Duck Dynasty would serve to their guests. If you like odd tasting desserts, though, this recipe could be just what you’re looking for. https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/5822/toad-in-the-hole-in-4-easy-steps
AN INSTANT CLASSIC: THE BANANA SPLIT
Ok, so I’m gonna catch hell for throwing this popular dessert into the mix, but I do so by request. We all know how to make it; two scoops of vanilla or chocolate ice cream, one banana, some hot fudge sauce, and a cherry.
There are so many jokes I could make out of this, but I will simply describe something I saw at a holiday party that will forever change the way you look at this ice cream treat. The banana sat in the center, two gobs of chocolate ice cream, one on each side… Need I go on? I’ve never seen more suggestively placed hot fudge syrup, all of it lying at one end of the plate. Even the cherry looked like it was blushing, sitting daintily on the banana’s tip with its vein, er… vine facing backwards. It was quite a sight – I only wish I had quit laughing long enough to snap a picture.
If you’re a fan of the more traditional approach, just be sure you combine the standard ingredients in equal proportions around the plate.
So, there you have it ladies and gents, three foods that you imagination can run wild with. Other top contenders were the meatball grinder (also the name of a sex act), beef jerky (just because it sounds funny), and the buttery nipple cupcake (for obvious reasons).
Feel free to leave your comments and recipes for more depraved sexual foods for all of us at TravelPride to investigate.
Have a happy holiday season!
Gay Relationship Timeline
Friends, allies and other distinguished readers, there is an inherent truth to some particular types of relationships. Specifically, the idea that there will be confusion over the timeline in general and, in particular, the transitional period from being lovers to partners. Normally this would be the stuff of romcoms, but we all know how Hollywood can stuff it when it comes to understanding certain types of relationships.
And by “certain types”, it is “all of them.”
So as a public service, TravelPride will set out a timeline for how the transitional period ought to be mapped out. Keep in mind that every relationship is different, so these guidelines are meant to be taken with a grain of salt. Also, it should be understood that the marker for Day 1 is the day where there is the love confession and acceptance. With that in mind, here is the timeline:
- Day 30: This the beginning stage of being a full-time lover, not a Stevie Wonder song. Do something nice on this day, like maybe go see a movie or take in a local baseball game/soccer match. During this time, look for some subtle hints from your boyfriend about the possibility of something that is more long-term. This sometimes comes in the form of the occasional staring off into the distance, as if he was doing method acting for an obscure indie film. Make note of it, in accordance with your own good judgment.
- Day 60: At this point, the prospects of you two becoming partners should be considered as a possibility in the near future. If he wants to have a discussion about such a thing, do so in a way that ensures a more-or-less neutral disposition. This is not to say that you should be oblique; if there are issues, do not be afraid to speak your mind about them. Whatever conclusions are reached, keep them in mind as your relationship moves forward.
- Day 90: If you believe it to be worthwhile, feel free to introduce your boyfriend to your family. Depending on the circumstances, this may require a certain kind of diplomatic language when it comes to your older relatives. Unless you have a drunk uncle (which all families have, to be honest), then all bets are off. And while TravelPride does not wish to support or even condone physical violence, sharp-witted insults are encouraged. Here are some links to a few collections in order to gel both of your imaginations.
- Day 180: As you post the six months’ anniversary collage on Facebook, ask yourselves these questions: “Do I truly want a long-term commitment? Does he want to be seen as a partner instead of a boyfriend? And what coffee shop are we going to for breakfast on Saturday?” If your answers to the first two questions are Yes, then you should consider your boyfriend as a full-fledged partner and tell him as such. And while you’re at it, use Yelp to ask the third.
- Day 365: At this point, he is a partner of yours. If you can, invite him to move into your place. If he accepts your proposition, it means that he has also acknowledged the maturation and progress of the relationship. Then again, the two of you will probably have to split the money spent on moving fees, because that ain’t cheap.
- Day 730: For God’s sake, just go ahead and propose already! Unless you have serious reservations about the relationship, however. In that case, seek the advice of professional help as soon as reasonably possible. You can’t be too careful about this sort of thing.
Originally posted 2017-08-02 17:45:10.
Also published on Medium.
For the Love of House Music
House Music is uplifting, joyous, and free. Queer and like to dance? You will find a dance/music community in place no matter where you are in the world. Grooving to House Music is my thing. I enter the sanctuary of House to re-energize. It’s been that way since we were introduced in 1979. She’s carried me over some rough patches, times when I felt like I was losing the ground underneath my feet.
House Has Carried Me Through
In 2005, while ‘‘Cool Cat’ my daddy was in the Burn Unit of Detroit Receiving hospital, I’d go to Agave on Sunday’s after visiting hours to build up my faith. Even though Cool Cat didn’t make it out of Receiving alive, I danced for him to be at peace and out of unimaginable pain experienced through a comatose state. He left the day after my 41st birthday.House music and vibing with community helped me to make it through.
My love affair with alcohol ended, I would carry two bottles of ice-water in my backpack to avoid losing my space by one of the speakers, wasting time to go to the bar. I didn’t want to miss a minute of dancing. Agave, never disappointed, I’d dance for Cool Cat while sending up prayers.
Dance Away The Stress
House spells relief for many people after a hard week on the grind. People who love good music come out to dance their cares away. House is as freeing as it is healing. House is a connector of people. At any spot where House runs deep, you will find a mixed crowd. House Music pulls diverse crowds. You’ll find an eclectic mix of queer and str8, along with various races and ethnicities jamming together. They will be vibing and getting high from the beats banging through the speakers and the poetry flowing from tracks.
House is for beating back the blues, through verse that grabs your spirit reminding you that you’re worthy. Finding self and self-love are frequent in the songs that dare you not to feel empowered and encouraged. House is also fluid. When master mixologists house cuts use tribal beats and anything 1970s, I go on a spiritual journey.
Sunday Tea Parties
One criticism I have of the Queer community is that we don’t hang out enough. Sunday Tea Parties were prevalent in the 1970s and in some places they’re making a comeback. Tea Parties worked because they were open and welcoming to the queer community and allies. In Detroit, Michigan from 2000-2006 as a member of Sistas Providing Intelligence and Creativity (S.P.I.C.E.), I helped throw some stellar afternoon events. Mimosas flowed and the food was good. In between eating, laughing, and catching up we gathered on the dance floor to throw down to House music.
Giving It All Up To The Feeling
An extensive list of Detroit deejays has held my heart since 9th grade. Growing up with music pioneers. and being exposed to alternative music stores shaped my music tastes. It opened me up to the Worldwide House Movement. House music keeps this “Queer Diva”, moving to the beat. House is cool for a plethora of reasons. If you can keep the beat, you’re good. Go where the music takes you without fear of judgment. You don’t need a dance partner. I’m far from shy and when a good song comes up, I’m on the floor. House allows that. Dance by yourself, in the mirror or next to a speaker to take in more bass (if you’re like me), whatevs — do you. You can dance alone without worrying about someone inviting themselves into your personal space. You can feel the love of community when a dope song drops. If it’s a throwback song, House lovers make eye contact with knowing glances and head nods. A complete blast.
House is happy it’s liberating and it’s needed in the world we live in. House Music makes things a little better.
Originally posted 2017-07-30 18:00:18.
Why We Loved “Lafayette” And What He Brought To True Blood
Sadness wrapped around my entire being July 8 when I was tagged in a Facebook post by my daughter. She was sharing, that Juilliard studied Nelsan Ellis, the straight Black man who brought us True Blood’s (TB), Lafayette had made his transition. My reply, “NO!” I’d turned her on to TB and that post was special between us. Rolling Stone confirmed things in a beautifully written tribute. The news of his death traveled fast across social media with celebrities checking in on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. We were all crushed.
Heart Issues Were The Culprit
Complications from heart issues and a history of alcoholism and drugs took one of my favorite actors. Family members shared with Hollywood Insider that Ellis opted out of treatment where he’d tried several times, and elected to deal with his demons on his own. My God. At 39, the Chicago-area native had accomplished so much. His credentials include father, actor, writer, director and producer. There was so much more he could have done. His early passing is a reminder to keep a reign on our health status. That’s a message for everyone.
The Realness of Lafayette
Lafayette gave me life. With his passing, I went back to Youtube and thankfully found several clips of Lafayette doing his thing. A don’t f*ck with me Butch-Queen who would read you up and down without missing a beat, as he side-eyed and clapped back on unfortunate souls silly enough to try and play him, or those he loved. Lafayette also had a sweet side, but you’d be reminded that he was not here for foolishness. His frequent drops of sage wisdom were keepers. The delivery was always on point.
Took Care To Address Social Issues and Homophobia
Without Lafayette’s character, TB would have been just another vampire series. A social justice and human rights activist in his own right, a favorite scene is Lafayette putting homophobes returning a burger he’d made as a short order cook at Monroe’s where his huge presence practically owned the place. The scene has been named “AIDS Burger” on YouTube where the hits continue to increase. If we were to give a moniker for Lafayette standing up for himself and by extension the queer community, the winner would be’ #TipYoWaitress.
Put Some Respek’ On It – Everyone Has
I usually get comments when I post about queer issues, especially how they impact my community. Not one derogatory comment was made about Ellis. His reputation as a gifted actor and friend also shone through the remarks from Hollywood and those who worked and studied with him over the years.
Rest In Power Nelsan Ellis
Check out the extensive movie catalog Ellis compiled, as he shared his gifts with the world. Condolences to the Ellis family. Thank you to Ellis and HBO for bringing the character of Lafayette Reynolds and all of his Butch-Queen swag and realness, into our lives.
Originally posted 2017-07-14 20:15:33.
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