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Creating a Home Away From Home

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This article was originally published on TiplrMag.com by Laura Baldwin. Download Tiplr here.

The Lessons I Learned When Beginning a New Life on a Working Holiday Visa

Nervous, excited and eager to go; the very emotions I felt when receiving confirmation on my working holiday visa to Australia. I did plan on well, planning, but my list of things to do became suitcase items as I prepared to fly away with my best friend to begin our next adventure at the other side of the world. I almost forgot about the the almighty travel insurance which is vital if you’re planning on going on crazy road trips or participating in water sports over the next year! A few hours after landing I realised I wasn’t ready for the harsh realities that came with starting a life in another country, and the obstacles you face when creating a brand new home away from home.

Firstly, and quite obviously, there was the issue of money. Always save enough moola to keep you going without work for at least a couple of months. Most countries won’t let you in without enough money in your bank for rent and a flight home and although I haven’t been there yet, I know Canada won’t let you in without travel insurance. Research your destination, look up the cost of food, rent and travel expenses. As a naive twenty one year old who was fresh out of uni, I was a little scared and unprepared once I’d arrived in the land down under, especially when I grasped that purchasing groceries could result in asking the bank for a small loan to help you get by.

Finding your feet somewhere completely new often means beginning the uphill battle of trying to find work. Unless your parents are funding your trip or you saved enough to relax and travel for a wee while then work should really be your number one priority. I signed up to a recruitment agency and that pretty much set me up for my time in both Australia and New Zealand. You don’t have to stay with them but they’ll most likely find you decent work straight away and at least you know you’re working for a legitimate company. If you have zero admin experience, or you’ve yet to try your luck at creating the world’s prettiest double espresso soy vanilla latte, then get yourself some volunteer work at home to gain experience. That way you have both the knowledge and reference before you get there.

As nice as it is to settle, one thing is for certain, TRAVEL. Yes it’s great when you make a new group of friends and you’re having fun living together, but it can become a little too safe and comforting. There’s a reason you’ve decided to go to the country for a year and I highly doubt it involves staying in the same place the whole time you’re there. Take a walk on the wild side, rent a car or book and trip and just go for it. There’s nothing more gratifying than the feeling of taking in the beauty and culture a country has to offer.

Being from the UK I’m used to jumping in the passenger seat of a car and arriving to any destination in less than six hours. Call me moronic but I thought things would be the same in Australia, especially places in the same state. After realising a road trip to Sydney would involve sitting in a car for 12 hours I made sure to look up all destinations from thence forth. I would advise anyone to do the same if you’re not familiar with the place you’ve moved to, especially if you’re planning a weekend trip!

Entering a hostel or new flat full of people you’ve never met before can be pretty terrifying if it’s your first time traveling. Unless you’re a natural extrovert it will mean completely stepping out of your comfort zone and talking to a bunch of complete strangers. Hibernating in your bed and watching Game of Thrones back to back can seem like the easier option but don’t. Take the plunge and sit with people, they’ve been in the same situation as you before so they’ll most likely welcome you and make you feel at ease in no time. It’s crazy how this one simple step with boost your confidence in the future. I even find I’m far more confident in job interviews as I’ve mastered taking control of the initial anxiety I feel in an uncomfortable situation.

You may have made the first move and met people but if you’re not happy, don’t stay. Social media can be the pinnacle for masking your reality, and saying yes can be great unless you know deep down your gut is telling you something completely different. Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself; if you’re unhappy in a place or hostel then leave! An Instagram filter may make your life look idilic, and with people telling you ‘ah you look like you’re having the best time’ it can be easy to pretend your overall feeling to a place, person or situation is one of pure delight when really it’s not. There will be another place in the amazing country you’ve moved to that will make you feel far more content and honestly, you get one chance at this so don’t waste it.

Be prepared for the unprepared! If only life was like being handed a big bowl of melted chocolate, well eventually you’d feel sick and the novelty would wear off. That’s why you’re going to have to go through difficult times and often they’ll come at the moments you’re least prepared for them. I lost my passport when I first arrived in New Zealand. I had yet to open a bank account, apply for my tax number and find a job. The latter required me to have the previous three items. I’d saved enough to live for a month but that’s how long it took me to apply for and receive a new passport, then set up the bank account and send off for my IRD number. I cried, I slept and I probably refreshed my emails 100 times a day for confirmation that my passport was on it’s way back to me from the UK. That hasn’t been the only time things haven’t gone my way but I’ve learnt from the past that as long as you face it, you have to get through it. The month I spent sitting around at the hostel meant a month of meeting new people and from that I’ve made some of by closest friends here. When things become overwhelming, sit down, take a deep breath and let it go. It will always sort itself out.

I’ve often been told how lucky I am to be able to do this, and yes I know I am but the reality is anyone can. There are so many countries offering the working holiday visa that it really is as simple as saving up some money and getting on the flight. I’ve met every kind of person and although it isn’t for everyone, it’s always been a motto of mine to regret doing than spending my life thinking what if. With a positive mind, the right preparation and a sprinkle of get up and go you have the ground work to have the best year of your life. Or years, because traveling the world is a profession if you allow it to be.

Originally posted 2017-06-18 10:45:14.


Also published on Medium.

Entertainment

Letters From Abu Ghraib: Visiting the Middle East

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THE MIDDLE EAST – AUGUST, 29TH 2017 – Most of us know how horrible certain areas of this region can be to our community.  To say that the temperament towards LGBTQ+ people is hostile would be a severe understatement. Unfortunately, this is causing us to miss out on a myriad of fun and magical experiences. This article will share some top attractions from the Middle East (predominantly Dubai ) and give advice on how to remain undetected while visiting the region.  It will also detail the horrors that could happen to our community at any moment if we are not careful.

 

Dubai, United Arab Emirates

 

Boasting a very modern feel for a hot spot most people think is nothing more than picking sand out of your trunks, Dubai houses only the top destinations.  

If you love to shop and play all at the same time there is the legendary Dubai Mall, one of the largest shopping malls on Earth. It is home to some of the top name brands such as Armani, Versace, and Alexander McQueen. There are children’s parks and gourmet restaurants attached, too. The mall even houses its own aquarium containing over thirty thousand species of marine life1.

On the flip side, some may prefer relaxation and leisure over activity. Certainly then, you must check out the JW Marriott Marquis Dubai. JW is a Five-Star hotel in the heart of the city and sports cutting edge technology in its business center and a legendary spa. Bars and a top of the line fitness wing complete the hotel’s elegance2. Interesting trivia: You might remember Tom Cruise climbing up one of the towers in a certain film… from the outside!

 

Cairo, Egypt

 

Perhaps you are one of the people that yearn for a more rugged experience. Look no further than Egypt.  The nightlife may be fantastic, but even more impressive is the Great Pyramid of Giza, only a short distance away. The impressive, massive structure is actually a burial tomb of the ancient pharaohs and is one of the world’s seven wonders3. Be sure to pose by the guardian sphinx for some memorable snapshots. To cool off, take a stroll by the Nile River that runs past the city. Careful though: You must show respect for the Nile’s bounty lest you upset it’s protecting deities Isis and Sebek.

 

Warnings from the Author

 

Low key is the key. With countless news stories showing beheadings, stonings, and even ISIS casting helpless victims off tall buildings, many people ask why no one has stepped in to end these atrocities. The answer is simple: Homosexuality is illegal in most of the Middle East. This is not just a government law, but a religious one, too. If you are still planning a trip to this region, please pay attention to the next section of this article and seek outside resources and/or protection. For more information on what it is like to be LGBTQ+ in this region, it may be beneficial to read Brian Whitaker and Anna Wilson’s book, “Unspeakable Love: Gay and Lesbian Life in the Middle East” or another similar text4. I know many of us hate hiding who we are and if that is you, there is nothing wrong with that – but I encourage you to rethink your plans. I have a special word of caution for women: If you are travelling with men and they should happen to offend you in any way, do not let native Arabic men/women see any signs of an altercation. Address matters privately and quietly in the safety of your hotel room or living quarters.

 

Conclusion

Again, I urge you to seek additional help from others both inside and outside of the Community.  It only adds to your benefit.  Most importantly, though, enjoy your trip!

 

  1. “Revel In Retail At The Dubai Mall.”  Dubai Corporation of Tourism & Commerce Marketing.  29 Aug 2017.  https://www.visitdubai.com/en/pois/dubai-mall.
  2. “JW Marriott Marquis Hotel Dubai.”  Marriott International Inc.  2017.  http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/dxbjw-jw-marriott-marquis-hotel-dubai/
  3. Encyclopaedia Britannica.  “Pyramids of Giza.”   Encyclopaedia Britannica.  26 June 2017.  https://www.britannica.com/topic/Pyramids-of-Giza
  4. Whitaker, Brian & Anna Wilson.  “Unspeakable Love:  Gay and Lesbian Life in the Middle East.”  Amazon.com.  2006.  https://www.amazon.com/Unspeakable-Love-Lesbian-Life-Middle/dp/0520250176/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1504028713&sr=8-12&keywords=gays+in+the+middle+east+books

Originally posted 2017-09-22 12:50:33.

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5 Best Educational YouTubers for LGBTQ+ people

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Students are heading back to school, but why should young people be the only ones getting educated? With that in mind, here are my top five educational YouTubers for LGBTQ+ people, no matter your age.

 

Best for LGBTQ+ information: Ash Hardell

Everyone has questions about being LGBTQ+, even those within the community, and it can sometimes be hard to know how to get honest, reliable answers. Luckily Ash, who is genderqueer and pronoun indifferent, has answered a lot of the most burning questions for you.

Whether you’re interested in learning about a sexuality or gender identity other than your own (I had some questions about asexuality which I felt inappropriate to ask the asexuals that I knew in real life) or you’re still figuring out how you identify or you want to know how to be a better ally to your fellow queer people, they probably have a video for you.

 

Best for LGBTQ+ History: Tyler Oakley

They say that to know where we have to go, we must know where we’ve been, which is why it’s important to learn about LGBTQ+ history and celebrate it. Too much of history erases the contributions of LGBTQ+ people and it’s time to put an end to it.

Tyler is in the middle of a series where he talks about the trailblazing LGBTQ+ activists who inspire him; making sure to amplify POC  to avoid whitewashing our history and combat the vilification of their voices.

He also hosts a series called Stories of Queer Resistance, in which he discussed the Stonewall Riots which kicked off the modern LGBTQ+ rights movement in the USA (which I also covered back in July).

 

Best for Sex Ed: Sexplanations

I think most people would agree that their sex ed classes in school left a lot to be desired; using hetero-normative and cis-normative language, teaching abstinence-only, not teaching you about contraception for sexual acts other than penis in vagina sex.

Now when I began this piece I wanted to include all LGBTQ+ YouTubers but I ran into a slight problem with the sex ed section because gay men would talk about sex ed for MSM, lesbians would talk about WSW, trans people would talk about sex for trans people etc etc. However, I wanted someone who would address all facets of sex ed, so that no matter your sexuality or gender identity, you could become educated too.

Dr Lindsey Doe is a clinical sexologist who not only covers sexual health but also how to perform certain sex acts (giving a blowjob, cunnilingus, and eating ass) using inanimate objects to demonstrate. She also does her best to avoid problematic language- like associating penis with male and vagina with female- or shaming people for their sexual desires.

A strong advocate for consent, completely non-judgmental about sexual acts, and willing to answer your questions. She’s the sex ed teacher that I wish I’d had.

 

Best for Politics: Riley J Dennis

Riley, whom you may recognize from my podcast recommendations piece, vlogs regularly on trending politics and social justice issues, such as Drumpf’s firing of Comey, the Nazi riots in Charlottesville, and DACA.

She also breaks down complicated topics that rarely make it into the news cycle (like civil asset forfeiture and queer coding) into easily understandable segments without making you feel dumb, so if you think you could benefit from a more in-depth knowledge of the political issue de jour, then check out Riley’s channel.

 

Best for Mental Health:  MarinaShutUp

I don’t think it’s a secret that LGBTQ+ people have a higher rate of mental health problems than the general population (one of the unfortunate by-products of discrimination) so we should be honest about our issues and unafraid to voice them.

Marina, a queer woman of color, is very open about her struggles with mental health problems (like negative body image, depression, and social anxiety) as well as providing practical tips for self-care (look after yourself folks!). She’s honest about her own struggles, her mistakes, and her journey, which makes those watching feel less alone with their mental health issues.

 

So what did you think of these YouTubers? Who is your favorite on this list? Who do you wish I’d included? Let me know in the comments below.

Originally posted 2017-09-20 14:18:00.

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TSA: Transphobic (in)Secure A**holes

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Traveling is stressful for everyone, especially when it’s time to go through airport security. People of color, those who speak English as a second language, the elderly, and trans folks are groups of travelers that often face different struggles when interacting with TSA agents than their white, cis, and straight counterparts. Not only are these encounters more frequent and unique, they have higher risk factors and more severe consequences when things don’t run smoothly.

If you aren’t deemed “normal” by the individual TSA agent supervising your line or X-ray station, you may not be able to get on your flight; you may be detained, harassed, and assaulted.

In September 2015, Shadi Petosky faced all of these monstrosities, and recorded her experience on her twitter account. Hida Viloria, a writer and intersex activist, also had a traumatizing experience in 2017. Apparently, little progress has been made regarding the lack of respect, and courtesy displayed by TSA agents.

#NotAllTSA

The Transportation Security Administration is but another example of a federal institution abusing their power, and causing more harm than good. It’s true that not all TSA agents fall under this description, but that doesn’t make the TSA as an agency or going through security at an airport any better. In fact, these “good” TSA agents are the epitome of “apathetic Americans.”

In this setting, the severe concentration of multitudes of microaggressions, coupled with a powerful position, do not yield a positive result.

Symptoms of a Larger Problem

Overcoming an obstacle is always easier when it is broken down into smaller pieces. By addressing individual factors that create the problematic TSA that we have today, we become one step closer to finding a solution. Three key features that intersect with one another can be identified not only in the TSA, but also federal institutions like the police, armed forces, and even corporations.

  1. Toxic Masculinity
  2. Insecurity
  3. Greed

Toxic Masculinity – the Root of Many Problems

According to Huffington Post,Toxic masculinity is built on two fundamental pillars: sexual conquest and violence.” When pat downs turn into groping, and escorting passengers becomes shoving, pushing, and literally dragging individuals, it becomes clear that the TSA stands firmly on both of these pillars.

Once introduced to this level of power, it’s easy for it to get to one’s head.  The National Center for Transgender Equality strongly encourages avoiding confrontations with TSA personnel if at all possible. Like a hard drug, just a taste can leave you craving more. Not only is this problematic, but it can easily become deadly with the simple addition of a baton.

Like a bully finding out their victim won’t be pushed around anymore, TSA agents and police officers feel scared and insecure when they are called out for their behavior. Their power is being threatened. These are the moments that we watch on the news and read about online. These are the moments when innocent people die.

Our Existence is Resistance

It may look like our future is bleak. We are living in dangerous times. Many do not “understand” our community, and with ignorance comes fear – a high-risk emotion, especially when coupled with access to weapons.

It is important to remember that not all violence is created with guns; never has the pen been mightier than the sword than when it is creating legislation.

However, we are not paralyzed; we can remind our senators and representatives of their true employers: their constituents.

Click here to find your senator and representative and how to contact them.

Now more than ever we need to unite as a community. We need to remember that we are magical. We are beautiful. We are a strong, resilient, and courageous community, and we will not let these transphobic, insecure assholes keep us from getting on our flight!


Resources

For a PDF of The National Center for Transgender Equality’s Guide to Airport Security and Rights of Trans People, click here.

If you have been mistreated, or had an unsatisfactory experience with TSA personnel, click here for information on how to file a complaint.

If you have access to a smartphone, consider downloading the app FlyRights. It provides a way to immediately file a report of an incident of discrimination with TSA and DHS when it occurs. Click here for more information. It is available for both iPhones and Android smartphones.

Originally posted 2017-09-21 19:42:36.


Also published on Medium.

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