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Using Healing Arts To Diffuse Shame Based Homophobia

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Undiagnosed and untreated depression lives in many people. For queer folk in unsupported environments, depression and anxiety can go hand-in-hand. It’s how shame based living is executed. For queers who refuse to dim their lights, a chance is taken and people choosing to live radical lives by daring to verbalize that they are anything other than one hundred percent heterosexual, risk loss of reputation, family, and if they aren’t strong in who they are, themselves. Using healing arts as a means of self-expression helps many to survive in a world that doesn’t always grant acceptance.

Pick Up a Pen

Using art in any of its many forms helps people to release feelings. Writing out your day, what worked and what didn’t, noting what you observed and how things made you feel allows you to work through things without the judgment of others.

Taking twenty minutes each day, writing 3-5 paragraphs at each sitting can help to purge negative feelings.Processing your feelings can help to lessen anxiety. There is something about journaling that opens the door to insight into self. Self-help books and workbooks can help you dig into areas of shame that you may not even realize are blocking you from growth.

No matter who we are, we have a story and it includes good and bad, highs and lows, and stages of stagnation that turn into growth. These are life conditions we all experience, whether straight or queer. Navigating life’s hurdles with support is helpful. Sometimes, help is not readily available and we have to figure it out with few resources, or alone. A good writing resource I always go back to, is Julia Cameron’s, The Artist’s Way.  She shares her journey with alcoholism with such transparency that you can’t help but admire her and push through the assigned exercises.  If you are consistent in working the book, you will see patterns in your writing and your answers that answer questions about self.

Draw, Paint, Make a Beat, Dance…Do Something Creative

Do some exploring and find something creative that you enjoy. It may be visual and include drawing and painting.You may have an interest in music. Did you know, Dr. Dre gets $30 -50K per beat? Not that you’re motivated by money, I’m just saying. If dance is your thing, cut up. Take a class, do a YouTube video on relieving stress while having fun. Volunteer and teach a skill or craft to others. There is healing in that,  too. All of the suggestions help to realign your center. They offer balance and peace.

There’s Always Traditional Therapy

Healing arts can also be used with traditional therapy. Depends on how deep you want or need to go. Talking to someone objective (as in a professional) about areas of concern is never a punk move. It’s a courageous one. One that means, you’re willing to employ self-care. Being proactive about feeling overly sad, tired, or anxious is honoring self.

Bump what your mama and daddy felt about keeping things inside.We’re going to get to the good stuff, peace of mind freedom, by taking things one step at a time, and loving ourselves enough to explore positive avenues for recharging.

Remember to ask yourself if you’re, hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT), before acting on sheer emotion. That’s an easy one to mess up. When we’re experiencing any of the aforementioned conditions, we’re more prone to make rash decisions. Pause it, rest it and then hit the floor running, knowing you’re putting your best foot forward. There is no shame in admitting feelings of sadness.

Child’s Play

Some of us have been so busy adulting and caregiving for others, that we’ve forgotten how to laugh and have fun. If none of the artistic expressions posted above grab you, let’s try this. Find an activity on Groupon that you loved doing as a kid, but let go because you got too cool, someone told you it wasn’t cool, you’re too old, you thought people would laugh, or any other excuse you have. Just do it. Go by yourself and give the kid in you a chance to laugh at something simple and not taxing. We’re hard ass adults who don’t give ourselves the chance to be light and wavy, to just let go and enjoy doing something simple, inexpensive and fun.

There is healing energy everywhere, tap into it. Most of the time we can go inside and get it, but doing something for others brings the same peace. Take your talent into any nursing home and brighten someone’s day. Offer a stranger a, “hello,” and make their day.

Stay You, Cuz You’re Beautiful and You Matter!

In the fight to end homophobia and the shaming that comes with it, you will find your gifts. Using healing arts and your voice in whatever ways help you work through feelings others have projected onto you, is a good thing. Stretch. Grow. Shine.

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The Coward: A Look into Homophobia in Queer Spaces

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Theatre has always been a safe space for the LGBT+ community. It has given people of any sexuality and gender identity a platform to explore themselves and their relationships, as well as their fears and trauma, and share those experiences with everyone. LGBT+ theatre shows the truth, but sometimes it’s a hard truth, meant to make audiences uncomfortable but aware of the hardships that the queer community faces.

In her play The Coward, playwright Kati Schwartz explores the effects of homophobia in the queer community. The show focuses on a young actress named Jill, who spends the summer at an isolated summer stock theater company with a small group of actors. This group includes a man named Christopher, who claims to be straight despite his obvious attraction to a male castmate. His homophobia, fueled by his strong religious beliefs, clashes constantly against Jill’s questioning of her own sexuality, leading to a tension-filled show.

Schwartz is incredible at mixing realism and fantasy in her shows, and The Coward is no exception. Jill carries a wand and casts spells throughout the play, though it is unclear whether her castmates can see the spells’ effects or not. However, the plot of the show itself is very much based in reality.

The Coward, as with most of the plays I write, is based off a real life experience,” said Schwartz. “What you see is my interpretation of that experience with some witchcraft and magical realism sprinkled in.” Schwartz is adept at mixing fantasy and reality while still keeping the focus on such a heavy subject matter. She is able to transform her experience with an aggressive person into a story that balances the inherent tension and sadness with the surreal.

Schwartz attempts to figure out Christopher’s homophobia in the face of his own sexuality along with Jill and the audience, and it certainly is not always easy.

“In the first draft, the Christopher character was a female, and the story was much simpler,” said Schwartz. “Once I switched that character to a closeted, self loathing gay man, the themes of the play became a little more challenging for me to explore.” With this switch, Schwartz dove into an exploration of internal homophobia within the LGBTQ+ community and its effects.

“The resulting changes to the script offer more equality between Jill and Christopher, and more opportunity for discussion on who the true coward is,” said Schwartz.   

Though the focus of the show is on issues within the LGBT+ community, Schwartz knows that this show is important for people of any sexuality to see and understand.

“Rifts and prejudice exist within any community,” said Schwartz. “Something I hope that people of any sexual orientation can take away is a keener sense of one’s responsibility to speak up when someone is being mistreated regardless of the immediate social ramifications.”

The Coward is playing at the Duke on 42nd Street on October 9th in New York City, as part of the New York New Works Festival. It is an important piece of theater, that should be seen by many. Share this with the theater lover in your life, and be on the lookout for more from Schwartz soon.

Originally posted 2017-10-10 15:42:41.

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How to Travel to This Gorgeous Liberal European Town With No Roads

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This town is called the land of water, and is also known as the venice of Holland. It is Giethoorn, located in the National Park Weerribben-Wieden in the Netherlands. There are no roads here, and the visitor can view beautiful thatched farms, lakes, reed beds, forests, wooden bridges, and greenery. This town is also gay-friendly, because it is located in the first country to recognize gay marriage in 2001.

Here is a step-by-step guide for travel to Giethoorn, and how to explore its beauty, culture, and community:

Book Your Flight to Amsterdam

Amsterdam

Plan your trip to Amsterdam, because from there, you can travel to Giethoorn.  There are numerous flights that go to Amsterdam, and here are cheap flights that were recently found by travelers. The flight will arrive at Amsterdam Airport Schipol, which has shopping and dining to occupy your time. If you decide you want to stay in Amsterdam for a while before traveling to Giethoorn and have booked a hotel, then the Schipol Hotel Shuffle can take you there.  

Once you are ready to travel, then from Amsterdam Airport Schipol, you can take the bus or boat to travel to Giethoorn.  You can also travel by train, if you wish, and you can use 9292 to plan your trip.  

Plan Your Stay in Giethoorn

Hotel de Pergola. Source: Booking.com

If you plan to stay in Giethoorn for longer than a day, then book your stay in the hotel of your choice. Above is a photo of the Hotel de Pergola, which is situated on the waterfront, but there are also other great options. There are some reasonably priced places to stay, such as the Fletcher Hotel Restaurant de Eese-Giethoorn, which has an outdoor tennis court, a national park, restaurant, and indoor pool. One traveler recommended another place, the Hotel Giethoorn because it was super cozy.  

Day 1: Travel on a Boat in the Town with No Roads

Travelers on boats. Source: A Wanderlust for Life

There are many things you can do on your first day here, and one option is to travel on a boat, because after all, this charming town has no roads, but it does have water. Canoe trails are 90 kilometers long!  In fact, the postman has to travel by punt boat, to deliver mail.  

You can rent kayaks, sailboats, and rowboats. If you want to boat by yourself, consider renting a whisperboat, which are open punter boats equipped with a silent electric motor (why it’s been given the name ‘whisper’). You can book your boat in advance, and you can even book a day tour which includes the whisperboat, coffee, sandwiches, drinks and dinner.  

Day 2: Go Cycling

The Giethoorn Weerribben cycling route. Source: Holland-Cycling.com

Another popular activity here is cycling. The Giethoorn Weeribben cycling route is 46 kilometers long, and there are thatched cottages, narrow bridges and wetlands on the way! You will see these at the farming village of Giethoorn. The route will also take you through the historic town of Blokzijl, the National Park De Wieden, and the villages of Jonen and Dwarsgracht.  

Day 3: Hike and Explore

Giethoorn. Source: Holland.com

If you want to explore Giethoorn more, and are a hiking enthusiast, then consider the 15.3 kilometer walking route, which starts at Eendrachtsplein, and then follows the green route.  There is a walking network which guides you, so follow the colored arrows. Sights to watch out for are canals, thatched farmhouses, and the largest lake of the Kop van Overikssel, the Beulakerwijde.  

Before You Go: What to Bring With You

Sunscreen

As you plan your trip, including flight, accommodation, and activities, consider what to bring with you.  Expect warm weather here, so bring sunscreen, lip balm and a hat.  But it can rain, so be sure to bring a raincoat and umbrella, so that you’re on the safe side.  Other items to include in your backpack are a camera, first aid kit, hiking boots, a torchlight, SD card, and shorts or pants with pockets.   

Where do you plan on vacationing this year?  If this European destination sounds good to you, then consider planning a trip.

 

Originally posted 2017-10-09 17:23:57.

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Love It, Leave It: The NYC (Pizza) Edition

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You’re beautiful, saucy, and sometimes too hot to hold. Aside from my family and friends, you’re the most important thing in the world to me. We could hang out every night of the week and I wouldn’t get sick of you. I love you (don’t tell my girlfriend). Oh boy — it’s a bit weird saying that aloud for the first time — especially in such a public forum. But, it just feels so right. The two of us were made for each other. You complete me, pizza.

I’m an Italian girl from Staten Island–what did you expect? :: insert stereotypical phrases like fuhggedaboudit and ay oh! here :: Eating pizza is one of my favorite pastimes and I’ve got plenty of favorites in NYC; this list will give you a feel for my top three joints.

Love It: Roberta’s. Denino’s. Rubirosa.

Roberta’s: A pie I’m willing to trek to Brooklyn for. This wood-fired pizza has been a Bushwick staple since before Bushwick was the hipster mecca it is today; it’s nearly a decade old. You’ll most likely have a hearty wait to fold (please don’t use a fork and knife) a slice here, but don’t give up. Once you get a spot, the bee sting is an inventive (soppressata, chili, honey), go-to order. I bet 10 pepperonis that you’ll be back.

Denino’s: Ah, puppy love. Denino’s and I have been in a long-term relationship since I had enough teeth to physically chew a slice. (Who are we kidding, I would’ve gummed it.) IMO, this is the OG pizza parlor from Staten Island — cash only, surly career waitresses, and no ambiance or dessert menu. If you want the authentic experience, take the ferry over and grab a cab here. But you lazy folk are in luck, because a new outpost opened up on MacDougal street this year. Despite getting asked without fail: “sauce on the whole pie?” I always order sausage and broccoli rabe, red. Never disappoints.

Rubirosa: This trendy, dimly-lit Italian spot is thankfully only a few blocks away from my apartment in NoLita. Coincidence? #nope. The iconic, thin-crust pizza has a sweet spot in my heart, as it happens to be crafted with the same recipe that has been around for decades at Joe & Pat’s (another must-try spot) in Staten Island. I maybe worked there in high school simply so I could eat slices on my break.

Leave It: Anything that says “99¢ or $1 pizza”‘

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. Unless you have consumed enough drinks to knock out Floyd Mayweather, this is a terrible, horrible, unforgivable decision. You’ll have more regrets than that guy who got the “no regerts” tattoo. People who may love Domino’s or Pizza Hut might find nothing wrong with a cheap slice slathered in Prego-style sauce and an ambiguous Sargento cheese blend. But, any sensible ‘za lover will walk spritely by these unrefined joints with interrogation room lighting and never look back.

Originally posted 2017-10-09 16:45:50.

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