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Escape the Rat-Race and Travel the World!

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Travel has always been a major feature of my life. Every few years, I have quit whatever job I happened to be doing and taken off on an adventure. For a few years, I travelled solo. I worked at USA summer camps teaching tennis, took a round-the-world trip for a year and went on various multi-month overland journeys.

Since I met my partner, we have explored the world together. Luckily for me, she loves to travel as much as I do. To date we have visited over forty countries together, backpacking, volunteering, house sitting, hiking and camping.

It is so easy to get caught up on the treadmill of life. Go to work, watch TV in the evenings, drinks at the weekend and buying stuff you don’t really need (you just think you do at the time!) The days turn into weeks, the weeks to months and the months to years.

When you travel, your days expand and don’t blend into one another as they do when you are part of the rat-race. Unlike the majority of people on this planet, we in the west are privileged enough to be able to see the world if we choose to. A teenage girl in a Rajasthani village would not have the same opportunities as her counterpart in the USA does. That is just one of the many reasons that it makes sense to get out there and experience as much of this amazing world as possible.

Preparation

A career break (if you can get one), can be ideal as you can be secure in the knowledge that you will have an immediate income on your return. It may be, however, that you want a complete change of direction. You may even catch the travel bug, and decide not to come back at all.

Saving money can be a challenge, but if you are motivated enough, it becomes easier. We have groggily risen early on Sunday mornings countless times to do garage sales. Our living room was transformed into a post office when we sold books, DVDs and CDs on Amazon.

We have been living out of backpacks for over five years now, and have embraced the idea of minimalism. When you are on the road you learn how little you need to survive. Selling your belongings not only creates more cash for your adventures, but you can rid yourself of all that junk you don’t need.

Traveling on a Budget

There are many options for long-term travelers to help keep their costs down. One of our favourite methods of saving on accommodation is housesitting. We have stayed in some lovely houses in incredible locations and not had to pay a cent. Check out  https://www.trustedhousesitters.com for some great house sits all over the world.

Hostels these days aren’t what they used to be. Many of them have private rooms and facilities. If you don’t mind dorm rooms, it’s a much cheaper. In Asia, you can still get a dorm for a few dollars in some countries.

Volunteering can be an excellent way to contribute to worthy causes, meet people and use old skills or learn new ones. Workaway https://www.workaway.info and HelpX https://www.helpx.net offer a wealth of opportunities – you could be helping at a spiritual retreat, a hostel or a ranch.  Accommodation, and often food, are provided in exchange for a few hours work a day. If you are interested in organic farming, WOOFING wwoofinternational.org (worldwide opportunities on organic farms) have a similarly reciprocal arrangement. There is a minimal annual fee to pay to join these organisations and you can then apply for as many positions as you want to.

Your money will go further in some countries more than others. Six months travelling in South East Asia will probably cost the same as a couple of months in Australia. Travelling long-term is less intense than an annual vacation. Instead of packing everything into one or two weeks, you slow down. There is no need to rush around seeing the sights, partying every night and spending copious amounts of money. We try and concentrate on activities which are free or cheap most of the time.

Camping, hiking, exploring cities on foot and seeking out bargain accommodation, restaurants and attractions are all on agenda for the full-time nomad. It is a good idea to have enough in the kitty to treat yourself to the occasional snorkelling trip or night out. If you spend too much one day, you can always cut back the next.

Why Travel?

The most obvious answer is to see the world, and it is true that exploring the ruins of Angkor Wat or a first glimpse of the Great Barrier Reef is truly magical. But it is not just about the sights.

Being detached from routine gives you a sense of freedom that many people never experience in their whole lives. You can go anywhere and do anything. There are no limits.

One of my favourite aspects of travel is the opportunity to be in nature…….climbing mountains or strolling along deserted beaches and hiking in beautiful and remote landscapes. You can indulge in your interests and passions and perhaps discover new ones.

Whether meeting the locals and learning about cultures that are wildly different to your own or having a beer with fellow backpackers, you will meet a constantly changing cast of characters. A very different scenario to seeing the same bunch of people at the office every day!

I could go on enthusing about the benefits of long-term travel. Ultimately, when you look back on your life, you will regret the things you didn’t do, rather than the ones you did. So book that flight, brush the dust off your backpack, and start dreaming!

 

Originally posted 2017-07-23 21:36:54.

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Tell It Like A Lesbian

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My mother refuses to refer to my partner as anything other than a friend. We’ve been dating for three years and my mother still won’t acknowledge our relationship. Am I crazy for being angry about this and wanting to confront her? I feel insulted and it really upsets my partner. –Clarke

Dear Clarke, You’re not crazy for being upset at your mother. It sounds like you have every right to be angry, especially if after three years your mother can’t even acknowledge your relationship. If talking to her gently about it hasn’t worked after all this time, it may indeed be time to confront her more forcefully, as your partner’s feelings are also being hurt by this behavior. If you decide to confront her and her attitude remains unchanged, it may be time to cut ties. After all, your happiness is what matters most in this situation, regardless of whatever is causing such denial from your mother. You must put the health of you and your partner’s relationship first, and eventually, your mother may come to realize what she is losing because of her denial.

__________

Dear Tell It, Do you have any suggestions for handling depression? I’ve been really struggling with loneliness and I have no energy for anything, even stuff I usually enjoy. I feel like I have no one to turn to. –Otto

Dear Otto, Depression often causes the loneliness and sense of isolation that you are feeling. It’s important that you recognize this as a symptom of your depression and do your best not to isolate yourself as a result. Because depression can take a lot of energy, remember that your brain and body need time to recover. And remember that focusing on self-care is not selfish. Depression is an illness just like the flu and other diseases and should be treated with the same care.

On bad days, make a warm drink that you enjoy, read your favorite book or watch a show or movie you love. Spend some time by yourself to recharge, and then contact a friend or family member to let them know what you’ve been feeling. Make a plan to spend time with them, even if it’s only for an hour or two, preferably away from your house. Getting outside and into a new environment is an excellent way of resetting your brain. While I wish I could tell you otherwise, depression doesn’t just go away. You will likely go through phases of good and bad, and it’s important to learn the symptoms that are specific to you. If you have suicidal thoughts, don’t hesitate to ask for help. The suicide hotline number is 1-800-273-8255. Hang in there, and remember that there are people who care.

__________

Have questions for Tell It Like A Lesbian? Let me answer them! Submit your questions below (you don’t have to use your real name unless you want to), and see your question answered on our website!

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Originally posted 2017-10-26 14:10:06.


Also published on Medium.

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In December, This Round-The-World Cruise Visits 35 Countries

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Imagine being able to visit 66 ports in 35 countries over 141 days.  Such a trip has never been offered in the past, but now Viking Cruises, based in Los Angeles, is planning one.  

The Viking Sun will set sail on 15 December 2017. Furthermore, Cruise Critic has named Viking Cruises as one of the top 10 cruise lines for gay and lesbian travelers because it frequently partners with LGBT travel agencies and past travelers have reported good experiences.  In fact, the 2017 CRUIZIE Awards for LGBT Cruise Travel awarded Viking River Cruises the ‘Best River Cruise Line for LGBTQ Passengers.’  

So what is this journey going to look like?  Let’s have a look:  

Day 1: Depart From Miami

Miami

On 15 December 2017, the Viking Sun will leave Miami, the international city in Florida.  If you are embarking on this trip and are here in Miami, appreciate the barrier islands and Miami beach.  Here, find colorful buildings, surfside hotels and white sand.  If this sounds good, then spend a few days here, before making your way to the Viking Sun. 

Days 2 to 20: The Caribbean, Central America and Los Angeles

The Caribbean

On day 2, cruise the Caribbean Sea,  which covers an area of approximately 1,063,000 square miles. The deepest area in this sea is the Cayman Trench between Cuba and Jamaica.  Between day 3 and day 5, explore the city of Cienfuegos in Cuba, where a walking tour is offered.  This traveler explored gorgeous flamingoes, boat houses and more attractions.  

Between days 6 to 17, visit other countries lying in the Caribbean and South and Central America: Jamaica, Costa Rica, Panama, Nicaragua, and Guatemala. Then briefly visit  Mexico and Los Angeles, before cruising the Pacific Ocean.   

Days 30 to 43: French Polynesia, Cook Islands, Tonga and Fiji

Nuka Hiva, the largest of the Marquesas Islands in French Polynesia

French Polynesia, an overseas French possession, consists of more than 100 stunning islands, stretching across more than 2,000 kilometers. Start cruising the South Pacific and visit Taiohae, the main town of Nuka Hiva (pictured above) in French Polynesia.  You will also visit Tahiti and Bora Bora, known for its scuba diving.  

The 15 gorgeous islands that make up the Cook Islands could provide a hint of paradise.  Warm tropical waters, crystal clear waters and aquatic life are just a few of the treasures that can be found here. Then in Tonga, discover white beaches, coral reefs and tropical rainforest.  Continue this tropical holiday in Fiji, which also has beaches and coral reefs.  

Days 44 to 113: New Zealand, Australia and Asia

New Zealand

In New Zealand, go on an extensive tour that includes the Bay of Islands, an enclave of more than 140 islands with beaches and water activities. Find an abundance of wildlife, including penguins, dolphins, marlin, whales, and gannets.  There’s even a camping ground here.

Go on to cruise the Tasman Sea, and discover several attractions in Australia. The Great Barrier Reef, located in northeastern Australia, consists of golden beaches, thousands of reefs, and hundreds of Islands with dolphins, sharks, and colorful fish.     

Then cruise the Timor Sea and start exploring the culture and beauty of Asia. See Indonesia, and then go on to visit Brunei, Malaysia, Philippines, China, Hong Kong , Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, Singapore and India.  During this journey explore Ha Long Bay in Vietnam, which has beautiful islands topped with rainforests.  

Days 114 to 131: The Middle East, North Africa and the Central Mediterranean

Malta in the Central Mediterranean

Cruise across the Arabian Sea, and tour several countries in the Middle East and North Africa: Oman, Jordan, Egypt, and Tunisia. There is also a stop at Malta, located in the Central Mediterranean.  See wildflowers, plants, prehistoric sites, and walk to discover Malta’s natural beauty.  

Days 132 to 141: Europe

Murcia (Cartagena), Spain

See Portugal, England, and explore the beaches and hiking trails of Sardinia, the Italian island in the Mediterranean Sea. In Spain, Murcia is a university city with beaches, water sports, wine, and historical sites.    

Want to explore these countries, and Interested in this cruise? Call Viking at 888-850-6260 or find out more here.

Originally posted 2017-10-26 14:08:07.

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Same-Sex Marriage in the US: A Decade of Change

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On June 26, 2015, the Supreme Court announced the decision to make same-sex marriage a right in all 50 states. People all over the country celebrated, pride flags were flown, and for the first time, the White House was lit with rainbow lights. The decision was a landmark victory for the gay-rights movement, but behind it all was decades of litigation, activism, and advocacy.

In 1996, a law called the Defense of Marriage Act was signed into law by President Bill Clinton. It defined marriage as “the union of one man and one woman” in the United States constitution. Individual states were able to recognize same-sex unions, but on a federal level, the words wife, husband, and spouse, were reserved specifically for heterosexual couples. Same-sex couples were also denied social security survivor’s benefits and were unable to jointly file taxes. For almost a decade, the DOMA remained.

After 40 years of being together, Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer traveled to Toronto to get legally married in 2007. A year later, their union was officially recognized by their home state of New York . In 2009, Spyer passed away at the age of 77. She left her entire estate to her wife, Windsor. Because of DOMA, the federal government did not recognize their union as a marriage and Windsor was required to pay over $300,000 in taxes on her inheritance. Windsor decided to challenge this because she was legally married and should have therefore qualified for an unlimited tax deduction on the inherited estate. After approaching several gay-rights advocacy groups, she was repeatedly denied and was unable to find representation.

Finally, Roberta Kaplan of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison LLP agreed to take on the case. In 2010, her case was filed and made its way through the circuits and in 2013 it had reached the United States Supreme Court. In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled in favor of Windsor and announced that DOMA had been unconstitutional. By the same margin, the Supreme Court would legalize same-sex marriage three years later.

In September of 2017, Windsor passed away at the age of 88. She left behind a legacy of activism and change, and hope. At her funeral, Hillary Rodham read a eulogy. “Because of her, people came out, marched in their first pride parade, married the love of their life. Thank you, Edie,” reported the New York Daily News.“Thank you for being a beacon of hope, for proving that love is more powerful than hate.”

Edith Windsor has helped to change the lives of thousands of LGBTQ couples and her legacy will continue to live on. Do you have a story of how legalizing same-sex marriage changed your life? Tell us in the comments!

Originally posted 2017-10-25 13:58:13.

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